Not Quite Right

Maybe it’s me

MelissaWithAPen
2 min readFeb 22, 2024

--

Photo by OWN FILTERS on Unsplash

Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me or if those around me just don’t feel like I’m worth their time. There have been too many times when I’ve talked and received absolutely no response. It causes me to wonder if I’ve actually said the words out loud, and if I have, why is the person ignoring me?

Honestly, I don't know which would be worse.

All the time, not even sometimes, I feel like I'm dying. I feel like my body is falling apart and I have constant pains. I bring them up and tests come back normal. That's when everyone around me says that it's all in my head. They ask if I have taken my medications.

I've learned to keep it all to myself now.

Sometimes I wonder if I even matter to anyone outside of myself. Often I wonder if I even matter to myself anymore.

My eyes are blurry as I write this and I’ve been feeling fuzzy most of the day. I’m sure it’s just all in my head. Not sure why my eyes feel so wet or this lump remains in the back of my neck, but I’m quite certain it will all work itself out.

For the past few days, I haven't felt all here, not all there either. As a matter of fact, there are times when I'm not quite sure where I am. Maybe they're right, but I've taken the meds and altered the dosage, but we're still trying to get the kinks out.

Maybe I am the problem and there's no solution. The world around me may be sane and I'm lost in my insane bubble.

I don't think I will ever truly know.

--

--